Home. It is the space we let our hair down. It is, or should be, the place we feel most free to be ourselves, the most known. I realize that not everyone has had this experience. Not everyone has been a part of a safe family. But for the purposes of this message, let’s consider the home to be safe, free and real as a reference point.
Home is said to be a proving ground for our faith. Home is where our greatest testing happens. Home is where faith, hope and joy are constructed. Where compassion is built. Where love grows. Where forgiveness is necessary and frequent.
So here’s a question I’ve been wrestling with;
Would those who live with us describe us as “Christian”, meaning that we bear a Christ-like nature, love and grace? Do we behave like Jesus when no one, except our “safe people”, are around? Does the Christ-like person we hope to portray outside our home align with the person we are behind closed doors?
The safety and security of the home, and being known by those we love most, can certainly create an indifference and sloppiness with our behavior and pursuit of Christ-like living.
Laziness with our behavior toward those whom we are closest to can look like…
- taking family for granted (time, help, kindness, etc).
- losing tempers easily.
- name calling.
- blaming.
- distancing/ Cold-shouldering.
- attitudes and frustrations.
- keeping score.
You get the point. I’d venture to say you can relate to one or maybe all these impulses at sometime in your life. And for those who have teenagers, that’s FACTS. (yep, I feel the eye roll! Ha!)
What if we displayed these lackadaisical and careless behaviors to the world outside our homes? Not sure that would go so well! I imagine friends and coworkers would not tolerate what we may put our families through. And the FACTS remain, within the confines of our homes we can become unmotivated and inattentive to display godly love and grace.
Why? Why is there a tendency to give our families the scraps, so to speak? And save the best of us for the outside world?
I propose that, well…it’s just difficult! Living like Jesus takes consistent intentionality. It’s hard work, and it takes surrender. It requires us to live for the benefit of others instead of our own benefit. It requires us to live under the authority of the Holy Spirit, submitting ourselves to Him moment by moment. Because the real deal is that we can’t do this without the Holy Spirit.
Outside our homes we can “perform” or “act” like Jesus. But inside the most non-threatening, safe spaces our true hearts, our true faith, our true self rises to the surface for all to bear. It’s like we give the best behavior to the outer ring of our circle of influence and the closer we get to the “circle of trust” the more listless we become. Shouldn’t it work the other way around? Shouldn’t our best – the best of all we have and all we are- go to the ones we love and care for the most?
Last week I wrote about the desire many if not all of us face to do the visible things. Perhaps this is one reason why serving our families well with faithfulness and consistency can be so hard. Home is the place of the mundane. But in the mundane and daily surrender of our lives to God seeds are planted. Seeds that God then waters and causes to grow. Over time we can look around us and see where there once was…
- taking family for granted, there is now gratitude.
- losing tempers, there is now gentleness and self control.
- name calling, there is now encouragement and celebration.
- blaming, there is now taking responsibility for our side of the street.
- cold-shouldering, there is now open arms and forgiveness
- attitudes and frustrations, there is now kindness and laughter
- keeping score, there is now no score card, only a heart to serve.
I know that these changes may seem like a fairytale in some ways. Maybe they seem impossible. Yet life lived with Jesus is meant to be abundant and filled with goodness and love.
God’s word tells us that, “The thief comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, life in its fullest measure. (John 10:10, CJB)
Home is indeed a central place for testing and trials. Home is a place of relationship stresses and challenges. And God uses it all for our refining and pruning. He uses it all to bring us into a deeper relationship with Him as we recognize our dependence on Him.
God’s best for us, is a life lived with Christ, starting in our homes. God’s heart for us to live a full and abundant life starts at home, and requires us to pursue Christ-likeness, “Always be humble, gentle and patient, bearing with one another in love, and making every effort to preserve the unity the Spirit gives through the binding power of shalom.” (Ephesians 4:2-3, CJB)
Did you catch that? We have the ability to live in UNITY because the Spirit of God gives us the power of SHALOM. Shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken, peace, complete, and whole. When we give the Holy Spirit access to our lives and homes, we are able to cultivate homes of unity and peace. Homes that are gentle and kind, loving and encouraging, and calm and helpful.
We somehow along the journey of life settle for what is amid the mundane, instead of striving for what could be. And this, my friends, this settling, causes us to not look much like Jesus to those we love most.
So how about you? Are you tired of settling for what is? Are you ready to change the directional flow of where your best goes?
Bringing it full circle, could your family say you are a Christian at home? What do you want them to be able to say? What changes would you like to see in your home? Remember, change starts with you. And change doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient with the process and the work of the Holy Spirit within your home.
Lean in and let Him lead. Let Him soften your heart for your home. You can even print this article and cut out the list of what can be provided above, and pray over this list, pray over the verses given, and ask God to begin the work in your heart. Lastly, do you know that a lot of revivals in the past have begun in homes? Just sayin’…
Until next time, Shalom.
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