Have you been here? Maybe you are here now? You feel as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You have tried to do everything in your power, everything in your education taught you, everything your experience equipped you with.
You have joined groups, and you have been a leader. You have thrown yourself head first into making a go at what you believed was your dream life. You succeeded, and achieved only to find out you still felt empty.
Have you reached your breaking point?
You can’t take all the striving that leaves you feeling more empty. You can’t take the time away from family that ends up yielding little to no results. You can’t take the pressure to perform when you have already given everything. You can’t handle the pressure of feeling like you need to have all the answers and intolerance of imperfection.
So, you cry out, “God, what do you want from me? I will do anything!”
This was me. I broke at the end of 2015. Yes, I cried out to God, these very words. I cried out to Him because I was empty. I had poured all of myself into people, positions and purposes that were not centered on God and what he wanted for me. God is indeed a gentleman. And he does not push himself on us.
But you know what, the moment that I cried out to God and asked him “what do you want, Lord” there he was, ready to meet me.
Before this moment in 2015 when I crumbled in the presence of Jesus, I am not sure that I ever asked him what he wanted for me and really meant it. I may have prayed that before, because it was the “Christian” thing to say or do. But I would say it and then go on doing what I wanted.
God knew this time that I was serious. He knew my heart and my motivation was now shifted from my way to His way for me.
It’s funny, as I grew up I had it in my mind that I would never measure up to the standards of God. Since I thought I would never measure up, I just decided that it would be best to not even try, and I began settling for less than.
I made “less than” choices, decisions that were below his standard not even realizing that I could not meet his standard because I was trying to do it on my own and within my own strength.
But you know what, when I asked God, “what do you want from me?”, he told me “I want your heart. All of it.”
Proverbs 23:26 says, “My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways.”
And Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything else flows from it.”
God knows us so well, and he knows that if he has our hearts, he has all of us. Everything we do, say and think is an outpouring of our heart.
Picture this. The beautiful, almighty, powerful God of the universe, the creator of heaven and earth has been waiting for you. Picture it, really. Can you even imagine or believe that all he wants is your heart?
Can you fathom that he wants you to know him, and to have a relationship with you? Did you know he has been counting down the days and moments in anticipation of your surrendered moment when you finally cry out to him, “God what do you want?”
For me, this moment seems like yesterday. Maybe that is because I still ask him this question everyday, knowing the answer. He just wants my heart. He just wants me to show up, with no agenda, and to spend time with him and to get to know him through his Word. He wants me to talk to him in prayer.
You see, now that he has my heart, I still ask, “God, what do you want from me?” not out of desperation but out of obedience and a desire to live in alignment with his plan for me. Today the words I pray are the same as they were that day in 2015, but my heart is no longer empty.
The moment I gave God my whole heart he gave me a new one. A heart of flesh. A heart that longs for His name to be known and His glory to be proclaimed on this earth, for people to be set free and to be beckoned out of the darkness and into the light.
Where are you today on your faith journey? Have you cried out to him, “God what do you want from me?” What was his answer? What was your breaking point experiencing like and how did God meet you in your desperate place?
Maybe you are teetering on the edge of your breaking point, but you have not yet cried out to him. Maybe crying out feels too scary right now. Maybe the thought of surrendering and admitting you can’t do it anymore feels too big, or you are afraid what will happen when you surrender to him. I understand that feeling. God understands too. He’s ready when you are.
I promise you one thing, you will not regret it for one moment. You will not regret giving God your whole heart, He is so good, gentle and faithful to care for it. And oh the love that the Savior has for you. It brings me to tears. Because he loves you so much. Will you give him a chance to show you how much he loves you?
My prayer for you is that you would know from the core of your being how much God desperately loves you and longs to be in relationship with you. I pray you understand that he will never push himself on you, but he has been, and will continue to wait for you.
I pray you understand that the moment you cry out, “God what do you want from me”, or cry you “God help me I can’t do this anymore” he will be there ready to walk alongside of you. I pray you give him your whole heart, putting your trust in him to carry you through.