“Lord, I offer up this rebel heart
So stubborn and so restless from the start
I don’t wanna fight You anymore
So take this rebel heart and make it Yours
Father, I no longer wanna run
You’ve broken my resistance with Your love
And drowned it underneath the crimson spill
So bend this rebel heart unto Your will.”
Last week I spoke at a virtual Christian Business women’s event with The Tapestry Network. The event leader shared Lauren Daigle’s song Rebel Heart during worship. I have heard this song many times before on the beloved JoyFM station in St. Louis.
Last week, however, as I sat and listened, it was the first time I really paid any mind to the lyrics. The lyrics which intertwined perfectly with the message I was about to give to the ladies in the group. My message was a message about courage.
What this song speaks to and what my message described is that surrender is the most courageous decision we can make.
Surrender is a decision to stop running. To relent. To let go. To step away. To step out. To fall down on our knees in worship. To say, “not my will but thine be done, Lord.”
Surrender is courageous. It’s courageous because it is not comfortable. It’s lonely. It’s hard. It’s making choices that people around you may not understand, in fact they may criticize. They may tell you, “you’re crazy”. They may just not get it.
When I allowed the lyrics of this song to saturate in my mind, I thought to myself, “how did Lauren Daigle find that page of my journal!!??” Her message is woven together in a beautiful melody plucking the strings of my weary heart. The lyrics reminded me of my surrender.
In the fall of 2017 God was calling me to write and I was running hard the opposite way. I filled my time with everything that I was comfortable doing. Business ventures, serving at church, volunteering and the kids school and extracurricular activities. But these activities felt just that.
Activity. Activity without purpose.
And God, well…let’s just say he would not relent.
I prayed, “God I don’t want to keep running from what you are asking me to do. I don’t want to run anymore. But I don’t know how to get where you are asking me to go. I don’t know what the next right step is.”
And when I surrendered he brought the next step right into my path. In fact, it was a “here’s the phone number you need to call, here’s the connection you need to make” kind of help I needed. Within a week of obtaining the connection I was off to the races to begin the journey of writing.
When I confronted the fact I was being disobedient by running from what God was asking me to do. It also came with the admission that I had NO IDEA how to become an author. Not a clue!
BUT GOD, he stepped in and gave me just what I needed at just the right moment to help me have the courage to surrender. And God breathed fresh breath in my lungs, and prescribed me a dose of comfort and peace like I had never known.
I am no longer running. At least in this area of my life!
Daigle penned, “you’ve broken my resistance with your love.” How true. God never pursued me or my heart with an iron fist and list of my mistakes. He didn’t even bring up all the times I chose to walk away or turn my back, or when I denied him or ignored him.
With gentleness and patience He waited for me. And the moment I asked for his help is the same moment he released his help on my life. He is not surprised by my desire to want to do it all on my own, he’s not surprised that I have my own ideas and thoughts. That is how he created me. And that is how he created you!
But my wants and desires are limited by my human perspective, and they are shaded by my life’s experience. They are jaded. They are imperfect. They are short-sighted. But God’s desires for me and for you is far beyond the scope of our time here on this earth, it’s far beyond our own limitations because he is taking into consideration all HE is able to do it – with a surrendered vessel.
Jesus, is the ultimate example of a surrendered vessel. He had remarkable courage to surrender to the will of the Father, even when he knew the pain, the abuse, the humiliation he would be required to walk through to accept the cup the Father gave him – crucifixion, death, taking on all of the sin from all mankind, throughout all of history and the future, on his shoulders.
In the Garden of Gethsemane before he was arrested and taken to be crucified Christ demonstrated the utmost surrender. Jesus demonstrated in word and in action, while sweating blood he prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.“ (Matthew 26:39)
Not my will. But your will Lord be done.
Not my will. That is a bold, extreme and selfless statement. It is a statement of “no more running.” It is a statement of total and unabashed release into the hands of the omniscient, omnipotent God of creation. It’s like taking the Nestea plunge into God’s arms, the trust fall of all trust falls.
The courage to say, “not my will but your will Lord for my life” means that we are giving our lives over to God. It means we are trusting him to order our steps. We trust him with the outcome. We trust him for provisions.
The lyrics of this song end with a stanza of repeating lines that say, “Take my life, and let it be yours.”
What area of your life do you need to surrender to God? Are there concerns you have that God has prodded your heart to release to him? How does your life look different if you had the courage to say, “take my life and let it be yours”?
Or if you with open hands said, “not my will but thy will be done, Lord.”? If you are ready to surrender would you consider getting to know the heart of God, guided by my devotional Ascent to Know Him and let him speak to your heart through prayer and scripture.