Standing at the edge of a life changing decision I prayed, “God, will you catch me? God will you catch me when I take this step? What if I fall? Will you catch me if I fall? God what will happen if I obey and step out in faith? Will you be there for me? What if I misheard you? What if I mess this up?”
Have you ever prayed these prayers? Have you questioned God and the stirring of your heart? Have you questioned what he has planned? Have you ever wondered, “really God, now?” Have you wondered, “God will you catch me if I take this leap of faith?”
Change. There has been no shortage of change in my life over the last year. Change means there have been no shortage of steps of faith, and no shortage of prayers like the one above, asking, and pleading, “God will you catch me?”
The changes seem to have come faster than I can grasp or understand what even happened. Last week my husband and I relocated to FL. We uprooted our family. Left a community we know and love deeply. Left friends. Left behind family. All amid the Covid-19 restrictions.
Why? In response to the stirring of our spirits that beckoned us to something new. A change. Another change. A new pace. New scenery. New life. All amid Covid-19 restrictions.
Sometimes God moves us into new places, to new things so he can create a pathway through the wilderness. So he can create rivers in the wasteland. The essence of change puts us back on our heels and calls us to close our eyes and walk ahead with blind trust.
Change requires us to step out of what is comfortable and step into something less comfortable like changing from spandex pants to freshly washed Levi’s. Both constrict in their own right.
Our old ways, our yoga pants, constrict because they are tested, tried and true. We are comfortable. And often too comfortable. We become complacent here – lounging – so to speak. Comfortable with how things are. Comfortable with where we are. Comfortable with the level we have attained in life, relationships, and spiritually.
Take this same body and slide it into a pair of non-stretch, good ‘ol denim Levi’s. Levi’s feel constricting. But in a different way.
This constriction does not bring about comfort we may be seeking, as in what is known to us. But perhaps calls us to a greater level of attention. Attention to how we feel, how we sit, how we show up. The constricting Levi’s elevate our senses, to a heightened sense of awareness or alertness. This, in my mind, is also how the Covid restrictions feel.
In my morning quiet time this past week my thoughts seem to keep coming back to this same question. Will you catch me? And “okay God, we took the step, we made the move, now what?”
What is it that God has for us here? What now?
As I was praying this morning, I looked up to see my daily calendar. Wouldn’t you know, God is his gentleness, in his faithfulness had this verse ready for me, knowing that today, August 11 of 2020 I would need to be reminded of a promise he made to me in November of 2017 while on a trip to Israel.
God planted this verse in my heart as a promise while sitting in the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus went often to pray, and where I was also able to spend time in prayer.This planted verse was a foreshadowing of what was to come in my life.
God, over the next few years, would be walking me through some rocky, steep and challenging days, days that at the time my mind could not even conceive. He planted this verse as a promise. He promised he would be my strength. And he promised that he would give me just what I need (feet of a deer) to go exactly where he has planned for me (on the heights).
When God gave me this verse I was at the beginning stages of writing my first book, Ascent to Hope. I was beginning to lay out the story of our life, that was not as picture perfect as most thought it was. It was and is a story of brokenness, of a family in desperate need of a loving savior.
God showed me this verse this morning, at just the right time, when I needed to hear of his promises again. I believe it was his way of answering my prayer, “will you catch me?” It’s his way of calming my spirit. Of telling me I am focusing on falling instead of focusing on Him, my strength.
“God will you shift my focus, shift my eyes, shift my heart to be on you, your promise to be my strength. Remind me of how you have shaped my feet for this climb. You have equipped and enabled me so long as I find my strength in you alone Lord.”
In worship at church this past Sunday we sang, “It is Well” by Bethel Music. Tears streamed down my face as I was met face to face with the realization that yes indeed, “It is well with my soul.” It was not that long ago I wondered, “will this ever be well with my soul.” But when I focus my eyes on the promise and the promise maker a wave of peace floods my soul.
Today, I can sing, “So let go my soul and trust in Him. The waves and wind still know His name. And through it all, through it all my eyes are on You. And through it all, through it all it is well.” I can sing these words believing them and meaning them. Even without knowing his “why.”
I will choose to take steps of faith. One at a time. Slow and steady. And through it all, it will be well with my soul. Through it all, it is well, with my soul. Through the starting over. Through the fear of everything being new. Through the start of new relationships and leaving the comfort of home. Through it all, it will be well.
My challenge for you today is that if you are living “comfortably” in your yoga pants of life, would you consider slipping into a pair of denim? Will you reflect and consider what God is drawing you out of, and into?
In fact, what verse has God planted on your heart as a promise? What promise has he spoken over you that you have forgotten amid the season of restrictive comfort-like yoga pants? Is he calling you to something new? Is God asking you to take a step of faith? Will you allow the discomfort for the new to awaken your sensitivities and heighten your awareness to God’s presence in your life?
Whatever your answer, will you take a step today. Take a step toward God? Will you take a step, even if it is a small step toward what God is asking of you? Try it, see and believe that God is good, he is faithful to fulfill his promises. Let’s remember what his promises spoken over us are, and remember how he has already been faithful.